Supporting a Child Whose Grandparent Has Dementia
FOR TEACHERS
When a grandparent is living with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, a child may carry pieces of that experience into the classroom. They may be worried about someone they love, confused by changes they don’t understand, or adjusting to shifts in family routines and relationships.
A supportive classroom can give a child a steady place to feel understood and ask questions when they are ready.
Dementia Can Change a Familiar Relationship
A grandparent who has always been a familiar and reassuring presence may begin to seem different. They might repeat questions, forget recent conversations, or become confused about familiar people or places. A child may also notice responses that seem unfamiliar or unexpected.
For a child, those changes can be difficult to understand. They may wonder why Grandpa keeps asking the same question, why Grandma no longer remembers an activity they used to enjoy together, or why a grandparent sometimes seems like the person they have always known and other times does not.
Children may experience a mix of feelings, including sadness, worry, or frustration. Some may also feel embarrassed, angry, or guilty about their own reactions. Some may have questions they are reluctant to ask because they sense that the adults around them are already worried.
The Changes May Reach Beyond the Grandparent
Dementia can also change family life. A parent may be spending more time helping a grandparent, which can change routines at home. Visits may feel different, and a move into a care community can bring another adjustment. A child can be affected by those changes even when they are not directly involved in caregiving.
At the same time, dementia does not erase the relationship. Children and grandparents can still enjoy familiar routines and moments of connection. Music, stories, affection, and laughter may remain part of their relationship. Helping children understand both the changes and what remains can make the experience feel less confusing or frightening.
What You Might Notice at School
Children respond to changes in a grandparent in different ways, and what is happening at home may or may not be visible in the classroom. A student who is worried about a grandparent might seem distracted or unusually quiet. They may also have less interest in activities they normally enjoy. They may mention the grandparent often or ask questions about memory, illness, aging, or death.
Changes at home can also affect a child indirectly. A parent who is helping care for a grandparent may have less time or energy, family schedules may be disrupted, or the child may be spending more time with other relatives or caregivers. Those changes can reach into the school day through disrupted sleep, transportation, or homework routines.
Sometimes You May Notice Nothing at All
School can provide welcome predictability when other parts of life feel uncertain. Some children may want to talk about what is happening, while others may prefer for school to remain a place where things feel normal.
Changes in behavior can have many causes. Teachers can stay attentive and give the child opportunities to talk while letting them decide how much they want to share.
How You Can Help
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Create opportunities without pressure
A quiet check-in lets a child know you’re available without requiring them to talk about their family.
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Keep school predictable
Familiar routines and expectations provide stability when things outside school are changing.
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Changes in caregiving responsibilities, schedules, sleep, or transportation can sometimes affect schoolwork and participation.
Offer flexibility when it helps
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Follow the
child’s lead
Some children will want to talk. Others may prefer privacy or normalcy. Both responses are okay.
Working With the Family
When a family has shared that a grandparent is living with dementia, a brief conversation can help a teacher understand what the child already knows, how the family talks about the diagnosis, and whether there are changes at home that may affect the school day.
Families may use different words to describe dementia, and children may have very different levels of understanding. Following the family’s language when possible can help keep messages consistent and avoid giving a child information the family has not yet chosen to share.
Keep Communication Simple and Supportive
For teachers, the most useful information is often practical: whether routines have changed, whether the child is worried about something specific, or whether the family would appreciate extra flexibility or a quiet check-in at school.
If concerns about the child become significant or continue over time, teachers can follow their school’s usual process for involving a counselor, social worker, or other appropriate support.
A story can give children a little distance from something that feels personal. Instead of beginning with questions about their own grandparent, a teacher can invite students to notice what is happening to a character, how relationships are changing, and what the characters may be thinking or feeling.
Books can also help children find words for experiences they have noticed but may not know how to describe.
Using Books to Open the Conversation
Let the Story Lead
Start with what students notice
Ask about the story before asking about personal experiences. What changed? What did the characters notice? What are students wondering about?
Make personal sharing optional
A child whose grandparent has dementia should never feel expected to explain their family’s experience to the class. Give students room to make connections without putting anyone on the spot.
Leave room for questions
Children may ask questions the story doesn’t answer. Teachers don’t need an immediate answer to every question. A thoughtful response can acknowledge the question and help students identify where they might learn more.
A book can open the door to a conversation without requiring a child to walk through it.
Books to Explore
Children experience dementia differently, and the book that helps one child may not answer another child’s questions. Nana’s Books Foundation has distributed children’s books that approach Alzheimer’s and dementia through different stories, relationships, and experiences. These five titles offer several places to begin.
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Gardening with Grandma
Story by Linda Bozzo | Illustrated by Mudassir M. Abid
May be helpful for: A child beginning to notice memory changes in a grandparent.
Luke loves gardening with his grandmother, but he begins noticing that she forgets familiar things. The story follows their relationship as her Alzheimer’s progresses and she eventually moves to a home where she receives more help. Gardening remains something they share. The book introduces memory loss while showing that familiar activities may continue to provide connection.
Dancing with Granddad
By Linda Bozzo | Illustrated by Mudassir M. Abid
May be helpful for: A young child seeing changes in a grandparent’s behavior or preparing for a move to a new home.
Seven-year-old Nia learns that her granddad has Alzheimer’s as she experiences changes that include repeated stories, confusion, agitation, and wandering. When he needs to move somewhere safer, the story helps explain why while keeping Nia’s relationship with her granddad at its center. AFA created the book for children ages 5–8 as a tool for beginning conversations about Alzheimer’s.
Why Does Granny Forget Things? A Trip to the Brain!
By Julissa Cruz | Illustrated by Gustavo Desimone
May be helpful for: A child asking why dementia changes someone’s memory.
Two children take an imaginative trip inside their grandmother’s brain, where they encounter the hippocampus and neurons as they try to understand her cognitive changes. The story helps children understand some of the brain changes associated with dementia and includes guidance for adults talking with children and teens about the disease.
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I’ll Remember, Poppy
By Anne O’Brien Carelli
May be helpful for: A child adjusting to changes in a relationship with a grandparent who has dementia.
Told through a child’s eyes, the story follows a compassionate relationship with Poppy, a grandfather who has dementia. An author’s note provides additional information about dementia for families and caregivers.
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Ice Cream with Grandpa: A Loving Story for Kids About Alzheimer’s & Dementia
By Laura Smetana | Illustrated by Elisabete B. P. de Moraes
May be helpful for: A child experiencing later changes in dementia, including memory care, hospice, or loss.
A grandson’s shared love of ice cream with his grandpa remains a thread through major changes in their relationship. The story follows Grandpa’s move from assisted living to memory care and eventually hospice, while showing ways their connection continues. The book also includes a guide for adults about talking with children about dementia, hospice, death, and grief.
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Explore More Alzheimer’s & Dementia Books & Resources →
What Children May Need Most
Children often need time to make sense of what is happening. Knowing that the adults around them are willing to listen gives them room to ask questions and share their feelings when they are ready.
Clear, age-appropriate information can also help children make sense of the changes they see. Dementia is an illness that affects the brain and can change a grandparent’s memory or behavior. Nothing the child said or did caused those changes.
Children may also need permission to keep being children and enjoy the ordinary parts of their lives, even when someone they love is living with dementia.
A steady, understanding presence at school can give a child reassurance when family life feels uncertain.
Find books, classroom resources, conversation guidance, and information about Nana’s Books Foundation’s Title I Schools program.